Finding Joy

A lot of official news has come through in the last 48 hrs. The amount of closures and cancelled events continues to increase. I think, maybe, there is a leveling off of toilet paper fear buying…but now there is a run on guns and ammunition? Best case scenario, this runs its course and life returns to what people are used to in the next couple of weeks. Because I write fiction, I won’t entertain the worst case scenario…

I’m still working on edits for Survivors in the After. I have short story #3 to write. There is also Roanoak 4 to begin. As soon as Survivors is published, Daggers and Dreamers will get its final rounds of edits. I have a copy of my writer friend’s short story to beta read. Next week I’ll write and send out both newsletters. And tonight is the last post on IG for Flashes of Light on a Dark and Stormy Night: A Flash Fiction Anthology. I’m not sure which book I’ll begin posting about next, but I have until Wednesday night to decide. 

I’m on Spring Break this week and found out I’ll also have next week off as well (at least, maybe longer). A friend suggested I should write about flexibility in my next newsletter, since I seem to be offered so many opportunities to change direction at a moment’s notice on any given day.

As I was sitting in the barn this morning, giving my girls a couple of minutes to finish their breakfast, I realized how much joy I notice when circumstances are the same. Two horses to feed = joy. A car that runs = joy. Veggies to cook for dinner = joy. Clients to see = joy. Finishing small projects (errands, picking fruit, connecting with someone via text/email, grades done, etc.) = joy. I recently read something that said, “It’s not change that we fear, but the unknown.” YES! A client cancels, now they are behind and we need to schedule a make-up day and I suddenly have “free time” and need to decide how to best utilize the unexpected gift. Interesting to note that the joy is often absent regardless of what I do with that time. And yet we are all offered (though I don’t think any of us chose this) the chance to look for/discover/be in joy as our schedules are upended and we’re given this unexpected gift…

And here we all have time…that entity that we sometimes say there is not enough of, that we fail to manage for maximum use, that seems to go by faster the older we get (or maybe this is just my experience)…and the question we can ask ourselves is, “What do I do now?” The answer is myriad and varied, can be as gross as, “Will this time be fear-based or love-based?” Or as minute as, “I finally sewed the button onto that shirt.”

Personally? My to-do list is for once nearly non-existent. No real errands to run, phone calls to make, information to discover, people to contact, scheduling to do…so I find myself turning inward, and turning to my art. Why do I write? For the joy? Is it there? In considering the long hours it takes to do the 50 steps to publish my projects, will they get done quicker with bigger chunks of time? Completed with more mindfulness, more enjoyment, moving me down the path in the direction I think I want to travel? Time will tell. Be safe. Be kind. Be loving.